The View From Here – Taking Inventory

I borrowed that title from the words of a podcast I listened to recently from Life’s Seasons Speaks.

If Oprah was here she would call it one of those “aha” moments.  When the words, the idea – just “clicks”.   Taking inventory I realize now is something I did for myself these past six months and it’s what led me to reach out and ask for help.   I took inventory.  I sat with myself and evaluated my life.  All of it.  The tragedy.  The challenges.  The tough situations.  And the amazing things that have happened.  And the things I still want to do.  I sat with myself and processed my life like I never have.  I examined the things that I held onto that I should let go of.  I look at the wounds left unhealed.  I looked at the things I was holding onto that I needed to let go of.  I looked at my own life with so much more gratitude and really began to realize just how short our time is on earth, and how easily it can be taken from us.  Not that I didn’t know that.  I’ve lived that sad story.  I know how quickly people can be gone.  In the blink of an eye. A fraction of a second can change your world.

That’s the power of these podcasts for me.  It’s like a therapy session with every listen.

Something positive to come out of this pandemic, maybe?     When is the last time you checked in with yourself?  When did you last take inventory of your life?   It’s healthy and it’s NORMAL and it’s something we need to do on a regular basis.

I’ve been struggling with getting older because I realize I didn’t see my mom get older.  I look down and see her hands.  Or at least I used to.  I look in the mirror and no longer see my mother and I was so upset by that for so long until I realized – maybe I do.  I mean, IF my mom got the chance to live past 41, maybe she would look like me.  I see my grandmother.  Her smile.  Her cheekbones.  The “Belford” genes.  So maybe, I am still her.

It’s hard to get older, but how lucky that we do get older.  I feel the words of this podcast though.  Tina explaining because her kids lost their dad, she couldn’t get old.  I feel that so much.  I can’t leave my kids.  I know what that feels like.  To not be ready.  To be left alone.  To figure out life without your mom.  I can’t do that to my kids.  So this pandemic, with all the restrictions and frustrations that came with it, I felt like “yep, I need to do all that I can to make sure I stay here and stay healthy”.  I need to be here for my kids and I need to be okay.

Take inventory.

Of all of it.  All of life’s experiences.  Good and bad.  Your ever changing reflection.  The wrinkles and gray hair.  Looking for that familiar face.  Remembering where you came from and what you’ve been through.  Being thankful for it all.

A beautiful message.

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This post was written by Carrie Buchanan