Did you have one of those little diaries when you were younger, with the lock and key?\u00a0 The one that made you feel safe with all your secrets?<\/p>\n
I think I’ve had and used a diary most of my life, and it started when I was a lot younger.\u00a0 Writing your thoughts and feelings down is so helpful in processing all those emotions and feelings.\u00a0 It helps you think things through, before reacting to it or confronting a situation in a not so positive way.<\/p>\n
It was the secret place to share your thoughts on secret crushes.\u00a0 Things your parents did that made you so mad.\u00a0 Breakups.\u00a0 Fights with friends. It was the secret place to share all the details of your life that you weren’t ready to share with anybody else.\u00a0 Your innermost thoughts and feelings.<\/p>\n
I got out of writing in a journal until a few years ago.\u00a0 I’m not sure why.\u00a0 I was afraid someone might read it that shouldn’t.\u00a0 I never found time.<\/p>\n
A friend of mine gave me this journal a few years ago, and for a while I wrote in it daily.\u00a0 I wrote about all kinds of things.\u00a0 Things I was grateful for.\u00a0 Struggles I was going through.\u00a0 Fights with my husband or kids.\u00a0 Missing friends you thought would never leave but do.<\/p>\n
This epidemic has been a struggle to deal with.\u00a0 Highs and lows, ups and downs.\u00a0 \u00a0Extra pounds.\u00a0 \u00a0Out of control hair.<\/p>\n
For some it’s meant losing loved ones.\u00a0 There is no greater pain.<\/p>\n
For some it’s meant losing a job.\u00a0 Losing a business.<\/p>\n
Isolation.\u00a0 Feeling so alone.\u00a0 \u00a0Kept away from those that matter the most to us.<\/p>\n
How have you been dealing with it?<\/p>\n
I admit, initially, I was drawn to old family recipes.\u00a0 The very best comfort foods.\u00a0 We did puzzles.\u00a0 OK – PUZZLE.\u00a0 We did ONE puzzle, because it frustrated me and took forever to get the pieces to fit.\u00a0 More time outside.\u00a0 More time online trying to feel connected to those we missed the most.<\/p>\n
Lately, I’ve been feeling so lazy.\u00a0 Not motivated to do anything<\/em>.\u00a0 Feeling anxious about returning to work – in the building.\u00a0 Outside the safety of my home.\u00a0 I’ve gotten away from the cleaning and organizing.\u00a0 I have avoided anything online. It feels too much.\u00a0 I don’t want to do life online.\u00a0 I don’t want another Google meeting or Zoom chat. I don’t want to pretend to feel connected in another online virtual workout.\u00a0 I\u00a0 just feel STUCK.\u00a0 Waiting.\u00a0 It feels like the longest in between.<\/p>\n Working at home is not like I thought it would be like.\u00a0 The casual dress code and fully stocked kitchen has it’s benefits.\u00a0 But it’s harder to stay focused on work, when you’re thinking of the laundry pile to the left in the next room, and the dishes in the sink, and are the kids doing their online work.\u00a0 So strange.<\/p>\n This past weekend was rough.\u00a0 I was feeling all the feelings.\u00a0 Hating the hair, the extra pounds, and feeling alone.\u00a0 I wasn’t feeling “myself” and I don’t even know if that makes sense.\u00a0 I don’t know about you, but the closer we get to being back to normal, the harder it is to wait.<\/p>\n I’ve been to a few more places now.\u00a0 “Out” more.\u00a0 \u00a0Still not sure I’m really ready.<\/p>\n I’ve been doing things to take care of my mental health.\u00a0 I’ve been exercising almost every day. It helps. A LOT.\u00a0 I have days where I’m eating smart and eating healthy.\u00a0 Other days, it’s a smorgasboard of junk food.\u00a0 My garden is growing.\u00a0 I’ve even made some time for scrapbooking.\u00a0 Though I miss going out to print pictures.\u00a0 I’ve got a lot accumulating.<\/p>\n So I went back to doing something I used to do.\u00a0 To work through the “stuff” in my head.\u00a0 The negative thoughts.\u00a0 The anxious feelings. I went back to my journal.<\/p>\n I wrote it all down.\u00a0 All the thoughts and feelings.\u00a0 \u00a0I worked through it.\u00a0 With every stroke of my pen.\u00a0 \u00a0And I felt so much better for it when I was done.<\/p>\n It’s not just covid-19 anymore.\u00a0 It’s a conversation about racism in our world, and in our community.\u00a0We are in trying times.\u00a0 People are hurting and unsure.<\/p>\n How we heal the world depends on each and every one of us.\u00a0 I think it\u00a0starts with us as individuals.\u00a0 We need to take our ourselves.\u00a0 Physically, mentally, and emotionally.\u00a0 \u00a0We need to walk in compassion and kindness.<\/p>\n And we can’t do that if we are broken.<\/p>\n Take time for YOU.\u00a0 As hard as it is.\u00a0 Make yourself a priority.<\/p>\n