{"id":10345,"date":"2020-06-22T17:07:20","date_gmt":"2020-06-22T21:07:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/briwebapp.net\/cfgxfm\/?p=10345"},"modified":"2020-06-22T17:07:20","modified_gmt":"2020-06-22T21:07:20","slug":"the-view-from-here-what-is-wrong-with-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/briwebapp.net\/cfgxfm\/blogs\/afternoons\/2020\/06\/the-view-from-here-what-is-wrong-with-me\/","title":{"rendered":"The View From Here – What Is Wrong With Me?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I consider myself a positive person – but this living in a covid world has been a challenge!\u00a0 Most of the time, I’m feeling okay.\u00a0 But, anybody else struggling more than ever right now?<\/p>\n

Feeling these past few days have been harder than you’d expect? Despite the new freedoms?\u00a0 You can get a haircut, wander the mall, have drinks or a meal at one of the many outdoor patios.\u00a0 BUT….<\/p>\n

You still have to follow all the safety guidelines in place.\u00a0We’re still talking to cashiers through plexiglass.\u00a0 We’re still following footsteps and directional arrows in the stores.\u00a0 Sometimes I don’t even do it that well.\u00a0 Or I worry too much about going the wrong way and upsetting someone.\u00a0 I don’t intend to break the rules.\u00a0 I’m just trying to get what’s on my list.<\/p>\n

It’s like a game – and someone else is rolling the dice.<\/p>\n

My heart is enjoying the new freedoms, but my head is saying “woah, wait – this isn’t over and this isn’t normal.”<\/p>\n

It feels weird to see people outside again.\u00a0 Gathered under tents, in parking lots, enjoying the new and old outdoor patios.\u00a0 A reminder of how much we missed it.<\/p>\n

I saw someone I knew on the weekend,\u00a0 we passed each other in a parking lot, and I almost forgot how to interact.\u00a0 A co-worker I hadn’t seen face to face since March.\u00a0 Strange.<\/p>\n

The idea of being back in the world, with people, seems odd.\u00a0 I feel like I forget how to have a conversation.<\/p>\n

I had a moment this weekend, where I just stopped and cried.\u00a0 When my husband asked why, I didn’t even have an answer.\u00a0 I couldn’t pinpoint one thing that caused it.<\/p>\n

It was nothing and it was everything.<\/p>\n

My daughters were both OUT of the house this weekend at the same time.\u00a0 Each got the chance to see a friend they haven’t seen in months.\u00a0 Social circles expanding.\u00a0 Bubble friends.\u00a0 My husband was in the basement working on something, and I had a moment of “I’m alone,” and I HATED it.\u00a0 I know we’ve quarantined with our family, and that has been challenging.\u00a0 But I didn’t want to be away from them.\u00a0 Strange isn’t it?<\/p>\n

Adjusting to this new reality, with masks and plexiglass, and directional arrows.\u00a0 Waiting in line to get into a store.\u00a0 Not being able to hug everyone you see.\u00a0 Thinking about everything you do, before you do it.\u00a0 Shopping used to be spontaneous.\u00a0 \u00a0Everything feels amplified in this new covid world.\u00a0 Everyday problems seem to weigh heavier.\u00a0\u00a0 I miss “the good ole days”.<\/p>\n

The things I enjoyed I don’t have the motivation to get back to.\u00a0 My scrapbook room has been replaced by my home office and on air studio.\u00a0 My equipment takes up my creative space.\u00a0 My scrapbooks have been put on hold.\u00a0 So I say.\u00a0 Truth is, I collect more stickers and papers than anything.<\/p>\n

Working from home has been a bigger challenge than I expected.\u00a0 I miss chats around the coffee maker in the workplace.\u00a0 Discussing leftovers and recipes.\u00a0 Best shows to binge watch. Trying to figure out who took your last yogurt from the office fridge. (smile).\u00a0 It’s easy to be distracted by loads of laundry, kids Google meets, and the kitchen that keeps calling my name.<\/p>\n

Even my gardens this year are lacking.\u00a0 I normally plant all kinds of veggies – this year – one tomato plant and some green beans.\u00a0 Even my strawberries look like they gave up trying to grow., and what IS growing is being eaten by the cutest little baby bunny I’ve ever seen.\u00a0 How can I be mad at that cuteness?<\/p>\n

I found an article<\/a> online that sums up how people are feeling.\u00a0 It’s everything.\u00a0 It’s nothing.\u00a0 All at the same time.\u00a0 And even if it was written at the beginning of this pandemic, I think it still applies.\u00a0 Some days we’re up.\u00a0 Some days we’re sitting in a lawn chair, and don’t know what’s wrong and why we’re crying. Some days we’re cleaning and organizing.\u00a0 Other days we’re looking for our phone that’s in our hands.<\/p>\n

It’s been a long road, and I think a lot of us are tired.\u00a0 And just want it to be over.<\/p>\n

We’re getting there.\u00a0 There’s a lot of happy people out in their social circles, waiting in line for a haircut or a spot on the patio.<\/p>\n

Keep sharing and letting me know how you’re doing and feeling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

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