My 15 year old caught me off guard this morning by asking me\u00a0 “What are my big moments in my life?”\u00a0 \u00a0My first reaction was a bit of disappointment.\u00a0 Did I really not give her anything worthy of a school report?\u00a0 I was a bit stumped.\u00a0 At 15, she hasn’t had a lot of big moments yet.<\/p>\n
I had to think carefully.\u00a0 \u00a0She was in a play for summer camp.\u00a0 \u00a0Up on stage in front of a crowd of people.\u00a0 \u00a0First lost tooth.\u00a0 First steps.\u00a0 Those are more MY moments in her life.<\/p>\n
We haven’t travelled or been on a plane.\u00a0 \u00a0The only concert she has been to was the Backyardigans many years ago.\u00a0 Does that even count as a big moment?\u00a0 Or one she’d rather forget?<\/p>\n
I could be sarcastic and say “When you put the dishes away without asking.”\u00a0 Again.\u00a0 MY moment.\u00a0 (smile)<\/p>\n
First boyfriend?\u00a0 First date?\u00a0 Picking out our cat and chasing him around the room.<\/p>\n
How would YOU answer that same question?\u00a0 What are YOUR big moments in your life?<\/p>\n
At 49 I have a lot and not all of them are good ones, but certainly life changing.<\/p>\n
The time I nearly drowned in a public pool after sneaking out of the house to go swimming with friends and daring to go into the deep end when I couldn’t even swim.<\/p>\n
Buying a first record.<\/p>\n
First date.\u00a0 First dance. First kiss.<\/p>\n
Getting my drivers license.\u00a0 \u00a0First car accident.\u00a0 The day I got my license.\u00a0 #truestory<\/p>\n
The death of my mother, brother and sister.\u00a0 Life changing moment leaving a permanent record of time.\u00a0 Before the accident and after.\u00a0 \u00a0Not a moment I like to talk about or even remember, but it exists and is forever part of who I am.<\/p>\n
The day my first child was born.<\/p>\n
And the day I married my husband.\u00a0 21 years today.\u00a0 \u00a0We celebrate our anniversary today.\u00a0 Quietly.\u00a0 Maybe with some takeout later.\u00a0 \u00a0A moment in time that seems like yesterday in so many ways.\u00a0 \u00a0The perfect dress.\u00a0 My mom’s veil.\u00a0 Fake flowers that would last forever in my favourite colours.\u00a0 A small church in the town my husband grew up in.<\/p>\n
Lots of big moments through the marriage.\u00a0 Learning so many things.<\/p>\n
Like –\u00a0 you can’t control other people.<\/p>\n
Marriage doesn’t solve everything and make you happy.\u00a0 That’s on YOU.<\/p>\n
Marriage isn’t like a cheesy Hallmark movie.\u00a0 \u00a0It’s isn’t romance and roses all the time.\u00a0 \u00a0There is give and take.\u00a0 Compromise.<\/p>\n
And don’t ever compare your marriage or relationship to someone else’s.\u00a0 \u00a0Don’t believe those articles in the magazines and don’t take those stupid quizzes.<\/p>\n
When you let go of what the world tells you it should be, and stop comparing your marriage to what the movies\/ books\/ magazine articles tell you it SHOULD be – then you find the good stuff.<\/p>\n
When you let go of trying to fix and control the other person – that’s when you find a freedom.<\/p>\n
It’s certainly harder than we are led to believe, but it’s sure worth it.\u00a0 All of it.\u00a0 21 years later.\u00a0 3 kids and a cat.\u00a0 A beautiful home we call ours.\u00a0 \u00a0Sometimes the biggest moments to reflect on come from all the little moments along the way.\u00a0 I think it takes more than 15 years to accumulate.<\/p>\n
Someday when my youngest looks back on her life, she will have so many more of those big moments to celebrate and reflect on.\u00a0 For now she’ll have to take the smallest of things, like meeting the Sesame Street characters or seeing the Backyardigans live to be the big moments.\u00a0 Starting high school.\u00a0 Making it through a pandemic.\u00a0 Maybe that should be up there too.<\/p>\n
What are your big moments?\u00a0 Feel free to share.\u00a0 Send me an email.\u00a0 Let’s connect.<\/p>\n