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<\/p>\n***UPDATE***\u00a0 THE BOOK OF CONDOLENCE WILL BE AVAILABLE ON MONDAY AT CITY HALL FROM 8:30 TIL 4:30<\/p>\n
I stopped off at City Hall this morning before I came into work. Today is the final day for signing the book of condolences before it is sent to the royal family in London.<\/p>\n
Since the news broke last Thursday that the Queen had died, it’s been a lot of my focus.\u00a0 And I’m not alone in that.\u00a0 As we drove to Niagara Falls last weekend for a baseball tournament, my heart sank a little as I saw the flags along our route, lowered to half mast.\u00a0 The sudden realization that we needed to take the QEW – Queen Elizabeth Way – caused me to pause and sigh a little as I offered directions to my husband.\u00a0 Our highways.\u00a0 Our money.\u00a0 Parks. Places.\u00a0 Her face, her name – it’s everywhere.\u00a0 In so many things we have always known and not really given a lot of thought to.\u00a0 Until she was no longer here.<\/p>\n
I thought back to the days of Princess Diana as I walked up the steps to City Hall this morning.\u00a0 Because the last time I was at City Hall was to sign the book for her after her tragic death.<\/p>\n
This time is different I think.\u00a0 The loss isn’t sudden or tragic like with Diana.\u00a0 \u00a0It didn’t leave us shocked or devastated.\u00a0 Sad, yes.\u00a0 But we knew that the day would come.\u00a0 We knew it was coming when her health started to deteriorate.\u00a0 \u00a0When she was cancelling events.\u00a0 When she was handing duties over to others.\u00a0 Somehow we knew. We just didn’t want it to be true and we weren’t ready just yet.<\/p>\n
She was always my Queen.\u00a0 \u00a0Her portrait hung in our classroom.\u00a0 We sang God Save The Queen in school.\u00a0 \u00a0She wasn’t the center of headlines like Diana or even Charles.\u00a0 She didn’t do interviews.\u00a0 She was regal.\u00a0 Classy.\u00a0 Graceful.\u00a0 \u00a0At times we got to see her humour.\u00a0 We saw who she must be behind closed doors.\u00a0 Little glimpses into Elizabeth – the woman.\u00a0 She was the Queen.\u00a0 To be admired from a distance.<\/p>\n
I don’t feel I knew her like I felt with Diana.\u00a0 Diana WAS Queen of our hearts.\u00a0 \u00a0We felt a connection to Diana from the beginning and we felt that connection throughout her marriage, and her life of duty, watching as she became a mom, and watching her raise her boys.<\/p>\n
The Queen was a strong symbol for many.\u00a0 To me it was amazing to follow her story.\u00a0 \u00a0Inspiring.\u00a0 A leader of strength and compassion, kindness.\u00a0 \u00a0Bold.\u00a0 Fearless.\u00a0 And funny.\u00a0 \u00a0She was devoted to her duty.\u00a0 Her service.\u00a0 \u00a0Sometimes, maybe often, at the expense of her family.\u00a0 \u00a0But she did love her family.\u00a0 And her horses.\u00a0 And her corgis.\u00a0 And I guess her marmalade sandwiches.\u00a0 (smile)<\/p>\n
I wasn’t sure I was going to sign the book of condolences.\u00a0 I wasn’t sure what to say, or what to write.\u00a0 Would the royal family even see it?\u00a0 \u00a0But as the funeral gets closer, I felt the need to do something.\u00a0 And it was easy to pour out my heart on paper as I sat down at the table.\u00a0 Thinking of those left behind.\u00a0 My heart goes out to them all.<\/p>\n
It surprises me actually, that I felt this much sadness for someone I did not know.\u00a0 Many people say the same thing. They are surprised at the emotions they feel at the loss.\u00a0 And maybe it’s not as much the Queen, but the family left behind.\u00a0 Her kids.\u00a0 Her grandkids and great grandkids.\u00a0 They have all lost someone so special and important to them.\u00a0 I think that’s something we all resonate with.<\/p>\n
It’s a beautiful set up at City Hall.\u00a0 You walk in and immediately see her portrait on the table and one of her and her beloved Phillip.\u00a0 \u00a0Flowers.\u00a0 A candle.\u00a0 And a collection of\u00a0 many messages of love and support shared to honour the late Queen.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
You can’t help but wonder about your own life as you remember and celebrate another.\u00a0 \u00a0Do you think about your legacy?\u00a0 What you are leaving behind?\u00a0 How will you be remembered?\u00a0 I think about that more and more as I get older.\u00a0 Maybe it’s because my own mother died young and I worry about what I will leave for my kids.<\/p>\n
The Queen was an icon.\u00a0 \u00a0Not perfect by any means.\u00a0 \u00a0But who is?\u00a0 I will be up early Monday morning to watch the funeral.\u00a0 People in my house will be better off to stay away, because I’m sure I will ugly cry into my tea and crumpets and when that happens it’s best to keep a safe distance.\u00a0 (smile)<\/p>\n
The world won’t be the same without her.<\/p>\n
I am curious to see what kind of a king Charles will be.\u00a0 It’s odd to think of him as King.\u00a0 Prince William will now be next in line.\u00a0 I wonder how he feels about that.\u00a0 Now he waits.<\/p>\n
How strange.<\/p>\n
One thing I can say, having loved Diana for so long, I will never<\/em> be able to call Camilla “Queen”.<\/p>\n Nope.\u00a0 \u00a0I realize Charles should have been with her from the beginning.\u00a0 That she seems to truly be the love of his life.\u00a0 \u00a0Royal rules forbid it.\u00a0 But after Diana – who should have been Queen – I can’t say those words together without feeling a bit of sadness and anger for what should have been.\u00a0 We all wanted Diana to be Queen and to have her happily ever after.\u00a0 It just wasn’t meant to be.\u00a0 I’m glad Charles seems happy, but my heart misses Diana.<\/p>\n What are you feeling?\u00a0 Are you surprised at your reaction?\u00a0 Have you been down a royal rabbit hole like myself, watching all the videos and looking at old pictures?\u00a0 I had just watched the life of the Queen documentary before she died.\u00a0 She really did do a lot and really did meet a lot of people.\u00a0 An incredible life.\u00a0 \u00a0She will be missed by so many people around the world.<\/p>\n Carrie<\/p>\n