I’m Actually Going Through With It

A few months ago I decided I would allow the grey hair to take over.  I decided I was done colouring my hair. I’ve been colouring it since eighth grade – the days of Sun In.  When you were only supposed to use a few sprays, but we mostly used bottles of it. Because we discovered we could change the look of our hair. And by changing our hair, change how we felt about ourselves.

Somehow I felt cooler.  I was pretty much just killing my hair slowly. (smile)

That started a love of hair colour.

Heart break?  Dye your hair.

Feeling old?  Dye your hair.

Want to be anyone but myself?  Dye your hair.

It was the go to when you just needed to feel different and relevant and younger.  I’ve gone through all the shades.

But something happened this summer. As I saw the grey roots coming in, I didn’t want to be part of it anymore. The colouring. The covering up.

I didn’t want to pretend anymore. I didn’t want to do the work.  And it was the best feeling in the world.

I’ve tried before to embrace the whole “age gracefully” thing.  I’ve tried to grow out the grey in the past but it had a negative effect one me. I FELT old and didn’t like it. I had comments from people who would  say things like “Woah, no.  You’re too young to stop colouring your hair”.

I had funny looks when I suggested I stop colouring the hair.

Even my youngest daughter at one point years ago, when the greys were noticable, said “If you don’t colour your hair, I’m going to colour it in your sleep.”

I laughed that off with the other comments, but maybe it’s true.  Maybe we do really live in a world where it’s more celebrated to change who you are than embrace the REAL you.

Society would have us believe we need to always look young. We have to change how we look because how we look isn’t ever good enough.

This time – there’s a difference.  I’m 48.  And I embraced it.  I said “bring it on – I’m ready”.

Somebody asked me this summer, when I first started to grow it out, and the grey roots were very noticable – “Are you going grey? Are you embracing the whole going grey thing?” and HE applauded me for doing it.

Which encouraged me even more to keep going.

In July I was just starting to let it take over.

Now – it’s hard to remember the colour it was.

It’s been hard at times. Some days I get the urge to colour again.

But there really is a FREEDOM in just being yourself.

Maybe that’s what happens when you get older. You start to embrace yourself as you are.

I spent so many years comparing myself to others and feeling disappointed.

I would go to the salon, hoping a hair cut and style would somehow transform me into someone else.

I like this new found freedom.

Letting go of the things I once used to change who I am, and embracing the natural.

And I’m not the only one.

I found this article online today and I loved it. These amazing women sharing their story of going grey. Being true to themselves and the freedom they found in doing so.

Read it for yourself. Click HERE.

Categorised in: Afternoons

This post was written by Carrie Buchanan