On Today’s Show

Someone wearing a shirt featuring the Sesame Street character, Cookie Monster, allegedly entered a convenience store in Forest Grove, Ore., in the middle of the night on July 22 and ate half a package of cookies and then left without paying. When police arrived on the scene, “the alleged cookie monster was gone,” officials stated.

But investigators said that the next day, the cookie thief visited the Police Department and confessed that he had “indeed taken a cookie from the convenience store,” but said the situation was a misunderstanding. “This entry was brought to you by the letters C and T, and the number 3, as in Citation for Theft 3,” police wrote.

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ALEX RODRIGUEZ’s rental car was broken into in San Francisco while he was eating dinner at a restaurant.

However, since this is A-Rod, they didn’t just get away with a Kindle, a phone charger, a bag of chips, and $10 in loose change.

Their haul was worth HALF A MILLION DOLLARS.  (???)  According to reports, they took:  “A camera, a laptop, miscellaneous jewelry, and a bag.”

It’s unclear what was in the bag . . . but judging by the rest of the stuff it must have been something GOOD.  Or, maybe $495,000 in cash.

(It’s not just that A-Rod had $500,000 worth of junk stolen from his rental car.  It’s that he thought so little of HALF A MILLION that he left that stuff just sitting in a rental car parked on a city street at night.)

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ENTERTAINMENT

Avengers : End Game

Adrift in space with no food or water, Tony Stark sends a message to Pepper Potts as his oxygen supply starts to dwindle. Meanwhile, the remaining Avengers — Thor, Black Widow, Captain America and Bruce Banner — must figure out a way to bring back their vanquished allies for an epic showdown with Thanos — the evil demigod who decimated the planet and the universe.

During Conan’s show from Comic Con last night, he mentioned that the upcoming Indiana Jones movie will be Harrison Ford’s last as the character.  Then he had pre-taped auditions from various celebrities for the role of Indy.  One was Kevin Bacon, who began doing Six Degrees of Separation of  . . . him!  He found it didn’t take long to link himself to Indiana Jones.

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TODAY IS……………….

• “Filet Mignon Day” (French for ‘cute fillet’ or ‘dainty fillet’), celebrating the beef steak cut from the tenderloin. The fillet is considered to be the most tender cut … and the most expensive.

• “International Lefthanders Day”, first celebrated in 1976 to salute that forgotten visible minority … lefties. Only about 10% of us are left-handed. If you’re one of them, shake off the oppression and stand up for your lefts! Things that are awkward for lefties

2008 At the London Olympics, USA swimmer Michael Phelps becomes the most decorated Olympian of all-time, with a total of 22 medals

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COUNTRY MUSIC NOTE

John Michael Montgomery charted a Number One with “Be My Baby Tonight” in 1994.

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RANDOM REPORT

1. Red Lobster ran an “all-you-can-eat crab” promotion in 2003 and wound up taking a $3.3 million loss . . . because they seriously underestimated how much people can eat.

2. Of the top 10 highest grossing movies, “Titanic”is the only one that isn’t part of a franchise.  The other nine movies have a sequel out, have a sequel coming soon, or were a sequel themselves.

3. CDs hold 74 minutes of music because when Sony and Philips were creating them, they wanted to make sure one disc could hold Beethoven’s“Ninth Symphony” . . . which comes in at right around 74 minutes.

4. The Grammy for Best New Artist in 1961 went to . . . Bob Newhart, because his first comedy album “The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart”was so good.  It also won Album of the Year.  No other comedian has won either of those awards ever since.

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GOOD NEWS

It came late in the fourth quarter of the Cleveland win over Washington, but it might be the feel-good moment of the entire preseason.

Rookie wide receiver Damon Sheehy-Guiseppi’s, 86 tard punt return touchdown capped an incredible journey to the NFL.

A first-team NJCAA All-American at Phoenix College in 2016, Sheehy-Guiseppi was looking for a Division I school to play at. With no leads, Sheehy-Guiseppi spent two years without playing organized football.

Eager to play pro football, Sheehy-Guiseppi sweet talked his way ito an NFL workout in Miami by claiming to know the Browns’ VP of player personnel, Alonzo Highsmith. Thanks to  a 4.38 second 40 yard dash time, Sheehy-Guiseppi drew the Browns’ interest and was invited to Berea, Ohio, for an official tryout (for comparison, that 4.38 40 time would have been the sixth-best among WR’s at this year’s NFL scouting combine.

One problem: He had spent his last $200 on training leaving him with no money and a week until the tryout.

He knew his Mom was on a tight budget and he didn’t know anyone so he slept either outside or at a 24 hour fitness centre.

The perseverance paid off. He was signed by the Browns in April and four months later scored a touchdown in his first NFL preseason. Sell that script to Hollywood.

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BIRTHDAYS

[64] Paul Greengrass, movie director (“Captain Phillips”, “The Bourne Ultimatum”)

[57] John Slattery, actor (‘Roger Sterling’ on “Mad Men” 2007-15

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THINGS WE DID BEFORE CELL PHONES THAT SEEM WEIRD NOW:
➠ Used actual cameras

➠ Asked for directions: You could either go to the gas station or ask a random stranger on the street.

➠ Checked email on the computer only: Remember going through that 6-minute computer boot-up process to see if that one important email had arrived?

➠ Used the ATM to check a bank balance: Online banking wasn’t really a thing yet. You either had to manage your checkbook like a hawk or stand in line at the bank machine to find out that you were broke.

➠ Used real taxis: Before cellphones, hailing a random person to give you a ride was called hitchhiking.

➠ Used an answering machine: Remember, there was no texting, so if you weren’t around when someone called, this handy gadget was a lifesaver.

➠ Memorized phone numbers: Quick, what are your two closest friends’ phone numbers? Don’t know? Back then, you probably had about 10 peoples’ numbers memorized

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A New Study Figured Out How Much of the Stuff You Worry About Comes True

Researchers at Penn State University wanted to figure out how much of the stuff we worry about is actually WORTH worrying about.

So they asked 29 people with Generalized Anxiety Disorder to keep a journal of everything they worried about for 10 days.  And then after three weeks they checked on how many of those worries came true.

The result?  91.4% of the stuff people worried about didn’t come true . . . only 8.6% did.  In other words, less than one in 10 things you worry about is probably worth worrying about.

And there’s more.  The most common percentage of worries that came true for people in the study was . . . 0%.  So while some people in the study did have worries come true, a lot of them didn’t have a SINGLE bad thing actually happen.

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Here’s How Much Caffeine We Need to Get Through a Day of Work

According to a new survey, workers put down an average of 2.5 caffeinated drinks every single day.

That adds up to around 12 or 13 cups of coffee, energy drinks, teas, or sodas per work week.

And maybe it’s because we’re not sleeping great . . . the average employee only sleeps 6.4 hours a night.

And we feel like at least two days a week we’re not operating at peak performance because we’re tired.

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TUESDAY AUGUST 13^TH                                            

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS

[64] Paul Greengrass, movie director (“Captain Phillips”, “The Bourne Ultimatum”)

[57] John Slattery, actor (‘Roger Sterling’ on “Mad Men” 2007-15)

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1. MLB

Toronto                19           Texas    4

Detroit had the night off…..

2. This week, we’ll feature a fascinating fact each day about Woodstock, which has its 50th anniversary beginning this Thursday, August 15.  What was Woodstock like backstage?  Alvin Lee, lead singer and guitarist for Ten Years After, said it was like hell, since provisions were being dropped from helicopters.  There were no cigarettes, so he went out in the crowd, but came back with joints.

3. A Seattle man accidentally hit his gas pedal instead of his brakes, crashing through the front of a fitness building and into an indoor pool.  Here’s one of the men who helped save him.

4. Gigi and Bella Hadid, men and beer, Apple’s million dollar offer, bird poop confused for cocaine.  (From David Spade and Seth Meyers on Monday, August 12, 2019)

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MADDIE & TAE LOVE BEING ON CARRIE UNDERWOOD’S TOUR

Maddie & Tae are on the road with Carrie Underwood and the next leg of the Cry Pretty Tour starts September 10th in San Diego. Tae Dye tells us about the first time the duo saw the stage and how surprised they were: [“I will never forget walking into see the stage for the first time – massive! It’s so much bigger than I thought, ‘cause when we were in the rehearsal space, we had kind of taped off where we thought the stage would be and how big it would be, and people had said, ‘This is the room, but it’s gonna be bigger!’ And my mind couldn’t even comprehend how big it was gonna be and how tall. So, seeing it for the first time lit up and see Carrie do her thing, it was really awesome. I think that moment just really kind of made it real for us. ‘Oh, we’re direct support. We have to step it up. We have to make sure that we put on a great show and get the crowd ready for Carrie.’ So, we worked so hard for months to get prepared.”]

JORDAN DAVIS TOASTS TO NUMBER ONE HIT WITH CO-WRITER BROTHER

Jordan Davis co-wrote his latest Number One hit, “Take It From Me,” with his brother, Jacob Davis, and Jason Gantt, and all three gathered recently to celebrate the feat with a party in Nashville.

Jordan and Jacob always had a goal of writing a hit song together, and oddly enough, they got to celebrate news of “Take It From Me” claiming the top spot while both were coincidentally visiting Charleston, SC.

Jordan tells us he immediately reached out to Jacob in the wee hours of the morning once he got confirmation from a label executive that the song had officially topped the charts. [“He sent me a message and said he’s pretty sure that we got a Number One, that I got my second Number One. Uh . . . I started drinking. I called Jacob in the middle of the night. He was actually already in Charleston randomly. We didn’t know that we were going to the same city. I’m not lying. It’s really kind of crazy that happened. The next morning I flew to Charleston and we were actually able to go to breakfast before he flew out of Charleston.”]

He is on tour with Rascal Flatts this summer.

BROTHERS OSBORNE TO RELEASE ‘LIVE AT THE RYMAN’ IN OCTOBER

Brothers Osborne‘s new album, Live At The Ryman, will be released digitally on October 11th. Recorded during their three-night, sold-out run at the famed Nashville auditorium earlier this year, the album will feature the band’s Platinum-certified hits such as “Stay A Little Longer” and “It Ain’t My Fault” as well as fan favorites like “Weed, Whiskey And Willie” and “Love The Lonely Out Of You.” Special album packages including unique merch items will be available at www.brothersosborne.com and members of The Family fan club will receive exclusive access to the album starting October 10th.

John and TJ Osborne’s current Top 40 single, “I Don’t Remember Me (Before You),” will also be included on the new live record.

Brothers Osborne are set to reunite with Chris Stapleton on tour later this fall and will also open select dates for Willie Nelson including at Farm Aid on September 21st.

Categorised in: Mornings

This post was written by Dave Palmer