On Today’s Show

May 12, 2021 9:35 am Published by

Many people get injured every year playing video games.  What about when it happens to a major-league baseball pitcher?  Oakland A’s starter, Jesus Luzardo, injured his throwing hand while gaming over the weekend.  Here’s A’s team manager Bob Melvin on the injury. (Sadly, no mention of what video game.)

It was a great gig but now the jig is up. Police in Italy say a slacker didn’t show up for work at the Pugliese Caccio hospital…for 15 years, but got paid for the entire time, netting a total of nearly US$647,000. The unidentified 67-year-old man has been charged with abuse of office, forgery, and aggravated extortion. Police are also probing 6 managers for allegedly helping him carry out his plot. 

  A YouTuber named Nick Smith imagined what every conversation is going to be like for the next few months now that we’re meeting in person again.  Check it out, here.

If you think prices are going up on many of the things you need to buy, you’re not wrong. CNN Business says some price increases start at the source, where wholesale prices for products from lumber to corn and cheese are rising. 

A shortage of computer chips is inevitably pushing up prices for electronics and appliances. And, diaper prices have risen sharply and are going higher soon. Economists can’t agree on whether it’s a short-term problem as we transition to a post-lockdown world or if it’s a longer-term problem.

…AND SPEAKING OF PRICES: In the U.S. they are expecting higher gasoline prices by late this week if the giant Colonial Pipeline isn’t up and running again soon. The pipeline, which stretches all the way from Texas to New Jersey, shut down last Friday after it was targeted by a ransomware attack on the system’s computer network. Officials are calling it the worst cyberattack yet on U.S. soil. 

TODAY IS……………….

  • “International Nurses Day”, a highlight of “Nursing Week” that commemorates the 1820 birth date of the founder of modern nursing, Florence Nightingale. Here’s to you, RNs, NPs, and all nurses!

 

2013 [08] After Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield records the David Bowie song ‘Space Oddity’ on board the International Space Station, his rendition is posted to YouTube, and quickly garners millions of views

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COUNTRY MUSIC NOTE

Rascal Flatts‘ “Stand” climbed to Billboard‘s #1 position in 2007.

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TRILLIONS OF CICADAS ABOUT TO EMERGE ACROSS THE U.S. 

Within days, trillions of cicadas will come out of the ground across parts of the U.S. and Canada. Scientists say within a couple of weeks at most, cicadas of Brood X will emerge after 17 years underground. 

 

This is the largest and most noticeable brood of periodic cicadas. The experts say the bugs will mostly come out at dusk to try and avoid predators, and as they emerge from the ground they’ll try to climb up trees or anything vertical. Once off the ground, they shed their skins and try to survive at that vulnerable stage (or be eaten by anything from ants to birds, dogs and cats.) 

 

So here’s a gross question:  Should we start EATING THEM?

 

A surprising number of people are up for it. 25% say they’d give cicada-based food a shot.  That includes 9% who are VERY willing to do it.

 

Another 13% said probably not, but maybe . . . 44% said no way. Men were 50% more likely than women to say they’d give it a try.  And young people were more likely to say yes than older people. 28% also said they’d be up for trying SOME sort of insect-based food.  

 

And a third of us think insects as food will become a bigger trend in the next ten years. 

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FOUR RANDOM FACTS 

  1. Based on the average life expectancy, if you’re 18 years old, you only have about 3,160 weekends left in your life.  If you’re 40, you only have 2,015 left.

 

  1. There was an episode of “Scrubs”in 2002 where Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke’s characters went skydiving . . . and they had stunt doubles do the skydive.  So their stunt doubles met on set that day . . . and wound up getting married.

 

  1. The McDonald’s character Grimace was originally evil . . . in 1971 he was called Evil Grimace and his goal was to steal milkshakes.  But by 1972 they turned him into a purple monster who’s a good guy and not very bright.

 

  1. There are five MLB teams that have won every time they’ve been in the World Series.  The Miami Marlins and Toronto Blue Jays are both 2-and-0, and the Los Angeles Angels, Washington Nationals, and Arizona Diamondbacks are 1-and-0.

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GOOD NEWS 

Police in Arkansas recently helped capture a loose pig. 

 

The Barling Police Department said in a Facebook post that its code enforcement and animal control officer was dispatched to capture a “hamburglar”—or a loose pig wandering the neighborhood. 

 

The department noted that “Officers established a perimeter around the suspect to keep from getting hambushed by any partners in swine he might have.  

We’re happy to report that our culprit’s owner was sowprized it was loose and quickly helped apprehend our suspect.” The pig was returned to its owner.

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BIRTHDAYS 

[66]  Kix Brooks, country singer (Brooks & Dunn- ‘Boot Scootin’ Boogie’, ‘My Maria’)

[59] Emilio Estevez, actor (“Breakfast Club”, “The Outsiders”, “Mighty Ducks” movies)/brother of Charlie Sheen, son of Martin Sheen

[43] Jason Biggs, actor (“American Pie” franchise)

[40] Rami Malek, actor (‘Elliot Anderson’ on “Mr. Robot” 2015-19)/movie actor (Best Actor Oscar for “Bohemian Rhapsody”) COMING UP… “No Time to Die”, 2021

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SWAN TERRORIZES HOMEOWNERS BY CONSTANTLY KNOCKING ON FRONT DOORS 

A Swan in a town in England is being super annoying. Homeowners in Northampton, England have been dealing with a swan that seemingly likes to knock on doors. The locals say the swan couple has been there for seven or eight years, and that about five years ago the male swan started messing around with people’s front doors. One man says the swan rattles his letter box, and it does no damage, but it’s very irritating as it echoes through the house. He adds the bird will sometimes keep up this behavior for three hours. A local news outlet says the bird has only been targeting houses on a specific block. One woman affected by the swan says, “It happened about the same time last year and I think they could be hungry in nesting season. At first, I couldn’t believe what was happening but I’ve gotten used to it now.” 

 

POLICE TACKLE TRESPASSING DEER INSIDE WISCONSIN NURSING HOME 

It’s assumed people in nursing homes enjoy getting visitors, but it’s not clear if they appreciated this one. The Wausau Police Department in Wisconsin says officers were dispatched to a nursing home after witnesses reported a deer was wandering through the building after crashing through a window. One of the officers, Aaron Karlen, a former college and Canadian professional football player, was able to tackle the deer so it could be brought outside. The deer was not seriously injured and was released back into the wild. 

 

A Tiger Belonging to a Murder Suspect Got Loose in a Neighborhood . . . 

On Sunday night, a TIGER was loose in a neighborhood in Houston.  Yeah, an actual tiger was just walking around on the street.  There’s even a video of an off-duty cop who lives in the area pointing a gun at the tiger and telling its owner to get it back inside.  

So who is the owner?  He’s a 28-year-old guy named Victor Cuevas.  And he doesn’t just have a tiger . . . he’s also a MURDER SUSPECT who’s out on bond.  He shot and killed a guy in 2017 . . . he says it was self-defense, but he’s facing murder charges.

Anyway, when the off-duty cop called for backup, Victor put his tiger into his white Jeep Cherokee and drove off.  They were on the run until Victor was caught yesterday and he was hit with a felony charge for evading arrest.  The tiger is MIA.

Victor’s lawyer is already trying out some CRAZY theories on this.  Quote, “People are making a lot of assumptions . . . maybe he might be the hero out there who caught the tiger that was in the neighborhood.” 

Victor also had two monkeys in his house.  Those are legal in Houston, but having a tiger isn’t. 

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A HAT TRICK HONOURED 

Ottawa Senators rookie Tim Stützle has had a great first year in the NHL but of course it’s different with no fans in the stands but some Ottawa kids tried to make up for that on Monday.

 

Stützle, who scored his first-ever hat trick on Saturday, was greeted with a handful of hats being thrown over his fence into his backyard. He watched from his porch.

 

In the video posted by a Senators’ season ticket holder, a handful of kids wearing Senators jerseys start throwing hats over the fence. Stützle, who was recording video on his phone and laughing, clapped and thanked the kids. When all the hats were thrown, the kids, and the adults supervising, all started banging on the fence.

 

Stützle’s roommates, Josh Norris and Brady Tkachuk, joined him on the porch for a group photo.

 

“That was unreal,” Stützle wrote on his Instagram Story. “Thank you <3″ Now that’s how you properly celebrate a hat trick in a pandemic.

 

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SOME OF THEIR BEESWAX:
Dutch researchers have trained bees to detect COVID-19. The insects, which have an unusually keen sense of smell, have proven to be able to identify samples infected with the coronavirus, which could eventually cut waiting times for test results to just seconds. 

 

To train the bees, scientists at Wageningen University in the Netherlands gave them sugary water as a reward after showing them samples infected with COVID-19. They would get no reward after being shown a non-infected sample. 

 

Once accustomed to the system, the bees would spontaneously extend their tongues to receive the reward when presented with an infected sample. Currently, it can take hours or days to get a COVID-19 test result, but the response from the bees is immediate. 

 

The method is also cheap, potentially making it useful for countries where tests are scarce.

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WEDNESDAY MAY 12TH  

 

  1.   WSH 2 – BOS 1 WPG 5 – VAN 0

 

Blue Jays 5  Braves 3 Tigers 8  Royals 7

 

  1.   Conan O’Brien has announced that after 11 years, he will be “winding down” his TBS late night show, with the final episode airing June 24. O’Brien said he is leaving to launch a “fourth iteration” of his program with HBO Max later this year, and that his final two months on TBS will be dedicated to clips of his favorite moments, and will feature special guests.
  2.   Jimmy Fallon read a bunch of “Why I’m Single” Tweets from viewers.  (From “The Tonight Show” on Thursday, April 29, 2021)

 

  1.   Here’s one of the best bits from George Carlin.  His opinion of the meaning of life.  (A place for your stuff.)

 

Italy Wants Kim Kardashian to Return a Stolen Roman Sculpture

KIM KARDASHIAN is being forced to forfeit an ancient Roman sculpture that was illegally smuggled out of Italy five years ago.  She denies any involvement and says someone else must have bought it in her name.

 

Back in 2016, the feds seized an ancient Roman sculpture that had apparently been bought on her behalf, then illegally smuggled out of Italy and imported into L.A.  That stolen sculpture might date as far back as the 1st or 2nd century.

 

An Italian archaeologist verified its authenticity in 2018, and the case is STILL tied up in American courts.  

 

It’s not clear how much that one artifact is worth, but it arrived in a shipment of 40 antiques that had been valued at a total of just over $745,000.

 

The art dealer who sold the smuggled artifact to Kim’s people is a guy named Axel Vervoordt. 

 

He’s the same guy who did the interior design for the mansion she shared with Kanye before they split up. 

 

Chris Lane Blames the Pandemic for His Dad Bod

Remember when the pandemic started, and we all promised to use that extra time to get in shape . . . and then we didn’t?  CHRIS LANE remembers.

He says, quote, “I have 100% taken on the dad bod at this point.  I should be in the best shape of my life, but being at home every night and having a wife that cooks, I’ve been eatin’, eatin’, eatin’, man.” 

In the good ole days he was always on the go . . . performing, traveling, doing radio interviews, but that all ended when the world shut down. 

Quote, “During this pandemic I go write [music] and sit in a room all day and keep eatin’ snack after snack after snack, so [it’s] been hard.” 

But a change is on the way.  He adds, quote, “My first show back is July 3rd and I’ve made a commitment and promise to myself by then I will be back in tour shape.”  (He’ll be in Columbus, Ohio on July 3rd.  Somebody take pics.)

 

 

MIRANDA LAMBERT MARFA TAPES

The Marfa Tapes, the new project by Miranda Lambert, Jack Ingram and Jon Randall, is available everywhere. The three longtime friends and co-writers returned to their favorite writing spot in Marfa, Texas to record acoustic versions of the songs they wrote together over the years.

Miranda tells us they hoped to bring some of the town’s “magic” to their fans via this project. [“Marfa is such a magical place. It just – the songs are in the air out there in the desert. And I can’t really explain it but we try to do our best to bring people to Marfa through this music, and it’s one of those places where you just go to disappear and you know writing with two people that you can really be your total self with you know it’s – it feels good that we all get to go out there and just celebrate each other and celebrate creating music.”] 

Miranda, Jack and Jon are set to perform on CBS’ The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Thursday (May 13th).

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LITTLE BIG TOWN TO CONTINUE ON ‘NIGHTFALL TOUR’ THIS FALL 

Little Big Town will resume their Nightfall Tour of small clubs beginning with three back-to-back shows at the Paramount Theater in Denver, CO September 3-5. The trek will wrap on November 5 in Greensboro, NC. Their rotating opening acts are Ashley Ray and Caitlyn Smith.

Little Big Town kicked off the Nightfall Tour early last year but had to halt the shows due to the pandemic.

They posted the rescheduled tour dates on social media yesterday (Monday, May 10th) writing, “Nightfall Tour… returns. We can’t wait to see you back out on the road!”

The band’s latest single is “Wine, Beer, Whiskey.”

FAST FACTS

Oct. 7 — Detroit, Mich. @ Fox Theatre Detroit+

 

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This post was written by Dave Palmer