The View From Here – Reflecting On The Past

I shared my high school grad picture on our Facebook page today.  It’s #throwbackThursday, we’re in the thick of graduation season. Although grad looks so different for the class of 2020 this year.

No ceremony.  No big celebration.  No fancy dress.  No chance to say goodbye.  We’ve been sharing grad pics on our online graduate yearbook page.  A way to acknowledge the achievements of everyone who has worked so hard to get that diploma – whether it’s grade 8, high school, college or university.  It’s all worth celebrating.

It made me look back on my own pictures.

Funny how a picture can take you back to a moment in time and all the feelings that went with it. 

I consider THIS my grade 8 grad pic.  I know.  No gowns.  No fancy setting.  Just a girl surrounded by some pretty cool people. Some were by BFF’s. Some just wanted to be in the picture.  This was my “Breakfast Club”.  We were such a cast of characters.  Not a care in the world.

Grade 8 grad for me was a bit of a bust.  Our family had just moved from big city to small town.  As the new kid, that grade 8 grad was awkward and uncomfortable.  I did NOT belong or fit in.

So I consider THIS my grade 8 grad pic.  This group of people came together on my last day of grade 8 at Dolphin Senior Public School to say goodbye.  I’m the girl with the paint splat shirt on the ground. Flaps on my jeans.  What was that about?  Such a dork.

When you spend over eight years together, sharing class and recess – you feel a bond with those kids.  A connection.  You grow up together.  You go from running away from boys to chasing them in hopes they chase you back. You think all the big changes that come your way (like moving away from your friends) are the end of the world and that you’ll never recover or make it through. You are growing up but don’t know who you really are yet.  You’re still trying to figure it out. All I knew was I loved Duran Duran and sour keys, and the thought of moving to a whole other place was going to ruin my life FOREVER.

High school. Oh boy.  That’s a learning curve isn’t it?  Such a different environment from what you knew in elementary school.  New faces.  New classes.

A new schedule.  Teenage years are awkward enough.  You’re just trying to make it to the next class, next day, next semester and remember that stupid locker combination – and the battle seems all uphill.

It’s a popularity contest that I never belonged in.  Always a misfit.  Didn’t really belong anywhere in particular.  Grade nine I was a loner.  I kept to myself.  Ate lunch in the library.  Avoided anything social.

By grade twelve, I had my friends, I had had my first boyfriend and was ready to figure out the rest of my life.   College applications sent out in the hopes of teaching, business or radio.  The shy kid.  Picking radio.  Seemed like a joke.  Never underestimate yourself.  You are so much stronger than you think.  We tend to think of high school as this crazy race.  Trying to fit in.  Get people to like us.  I think I grew the most as a person in those years.  Stay true to who you are and you will never be disappointed.  Don’t feel pressured to change to get a like or be included.  High school seems like forever but goes by in the blink of an eye.  “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”  It is tough.  But you WILL get through it.

Lambton College was next.  A two year Radio, Television and Journalism program.  RTJ.  A lot of life changes packed into two years.  Ever feel like sometimes life is leading you in a direction that is bigger than you?  I still, to this day, have no idea why I would pick radio.  I passed out in front of my class giving a speech.  I was the shyest kid in school every single year.

How could THAT girl ever work in RADIO?  How could we really be expected to have life figured out and a career figured out before even being allowed to drink?  (smile)

The first year of college, the summer between semesters, my family suffered a huge loss.  My mom, brother and sister were killed in a car accident. My world was turned upside down.

Months later I was back in school.  Finishing what I started.  On auto pilot. With one of the worst examples of permed hair too (smile).

Not sure what my obsession with permed hair was.  Thankfully I’ve outgrown that.

Graduation time is an important moment in time for everyone.  I don’t have words of wisdom to pass on.  But I know that this is a moment in your life that you won’t forget.  You will remember your friends, your class, your teacher.  They will forever be a part of your story, your journey, that will lead you down the path you are meant to be on whether you know it or not.

I had so many struggles in school.

Bullies are everywhere, sadly enough.  I dealt with all of it.  Grade nine for me was the WORST.  I didn’t think it was ever going to end.  I didn’t think the girls on the bus would ever stop picking at me or on me.  Making fun of my name, my hair – whatever.

Don’t let the struggles and challenges change you.

Don’t change to fit in or be liked.

Don’t worry if you don’t fit in.  I never did.

Find someone who gets you and understands you and share life with them.  My group were definitely a bunch of misfits and we couldn’t have been happier.

I still call myself a misfit today.  I love the term.  Never be afraid to be yourself and stay true to yourself.  Even if you’re a dork like me.

Categorised in: Afternoons

This post was written by Carrie Buchanan