Feel Good Friday – Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help

I love the Beatles song – “With A Little Help From My Friends”.  It was part of one of the most memorable episodes on Gilmore Girls (smile) but it’s also a reminder that sometimes we really need a little help to get through this crazy life.  We need people.  We need to lean on people when times are tough.  When we feel overwhelmed.  When it feels too much.

If anything, this pandemic has taught us just how true that is. Life is too hard to get through on your own. We sometimes need to ask for help.

It’s been a challenging time for sure.  I’ve struggled.  And I’ve struggled with asking for help too.  But as The Canadian Mental Health Association Lambton-Kent reminds us this week for Feel Good Friday – we need to “Ask for Help” when we need it and not be afraid or ashamed to do so.

Sounds easy, right? Especially when it feels we’re taught to “suck it up”.   “Don’t air your dirty laundry with everyone”.  “Keep it to yourself”.  “Power through it”.

I know for me, if I keep things to myself for too long, and try to do it alone, I will eventually reach a breaking point, and then months of emotions and bottled up feelings come flooding out over the stupidest thing. But I am LEARNING that despite what the world tries to make us feel sometimes, it’s OKAY to ask for help.  It’s ENCOURAGED.

I’ve been dealing with some “stuff” lately.  And it’s been hard and it’s been heavy.

And as I learn to let people in, and to let people help, I’ve discovered that surrounding yourself with the right people matters.  People who will listen.  People who will surround you with love and support with no judgement.

The last few weeks I have pushed myself to go to group fitness classes outdoors.  We’ve been under the Bluewater Bridges.  In Centennial Park.  And at the Agora stage area. Being outdoors, and exercise are two of the things we’ve talked about on previous Feel Good Fridays.  They are shown to boost your mood and help you feel good.

The weather has been incredible,  but it’s the feeling that comes from being allowed to open your heart, allow yourself to be vulnerable with people, that is the best medicine.  It’s therapy.

I have learned that when I know I’m struggling, I need to exercise. I need a good challenging workout to help me through it.  It helps me.  It strengthens me in more ways than one.  And sometimes, when the tears start, when I’m trying to get through some ab work, that’s when I KNOW I need to ask for help.  I know that it’s not the exercise that I’m struggling with.  It’s life.  I’m lucky to have found a group to share life with.  Even at a distance.  (Boy do I miss hugs)

You need to find your people.  Your group.  So you can share the burden.  Share the weight.  Share the hurt and the struggle and the weariness.

The world is hard enough as it is.  Throw in Covid-19 and that’s a whole new ballgame.  You aren’t meant to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.

So let’s make a promise to each other that we will stop trying to suck it up and handle it on our own.

Let’s make a promise that we will reach out and ASK FOR HELP when we need it.

Is it hard for you to ask for help?  According to the Canadian Mental Health Association –

“Some people worry about asking for help because there can be a stigma around mental health problems.  They may believe that asking for help means admitting that something is wrong.   Some people worry about how others might see them.

Asking for help means that you want to make changes or take steps towards your new health goals. We should celebrate the courage it takes to speak up and make changes. Getting help is part of recovery. 

Feeling stressed, anxious or overwhelmed? Asking for help from friends, family, or others you trust is a great way to start feeling better.”

My youngest daughter just started high school.  Lots of anxiety was happening BEFORE covid-19.   But I was so excited to learn that her art teacher is encouraging students to connect with other students and reach out to each other.  She has set up a system with colours and magnets.  Each student assigns a “mood” to themselves each day that is visible on a board of some kind.   They could be having a great day or they could be having a “covid day”.  Happy, mad, sad. Different moods/ feelings/ emotions.

They are encouraged to look out for their classmates, and notice when someone is having a not so good day to be extra kind that day to those in need.  I love that idea.

Just imagine if we brought that into the workplace.  Or other areas in life.

A reminder that you never know what someone else is going through or dealing with or thinking or feeling.

Let’s start looking at asking for help as being courageous and encourage others to do the same.

I’ll promise to ask for help and I hope you do too.

Categorised in: Afternoons, Afternoons Fridays

This post was written by Carrie Buchanan