The View From Here – This Is 49

How do you feel about birthdays?  I turned 49 on Saturday.  With my husband and kids, and my brother and niece.  With cake and a campfire, surrounded by beautiful fall colours and lots of love from my family.

I keep staring at the number 49 and wondering if I should feel any different.

Someone joked “a year away from the worst year”.   Someone else said a year away from a mid-life crisis.

I don’t feel “old” yet.  Not even with my grey hair that has grown in.

We were camping this weekend, and as we celebrated my birthday and Thanksgiving I thought about age.   When I first started letting my greys take over – (as I shared in the blogs)  it was very freeing.  I embraced it.  I loved it. I’ve had so many compliments on my grey hair.

When the pandemic hit, and hair salons were closed, a lot more women stepped up and did the same thing.

Now, as I look back on my years and my old me pictures – I miss that colour.  I miss the feeling of colouring my hair and enjoying the change.  Feeling young.   So – after a year of change – I’m rethinking it.  I’ve had a box of colour in my closet since the pandemic hit and have been considering it for months.  Every time I go for the box, I remind myself of just how long it took to get to where I am.  It’s not an easy process. So I stop.

Then, when I saw headlines this weekend – Sharon Osborne doing the same thing – after going grey and embracing it, she saw herself in the mirror, thought she looked like Gramma Clampett, and after celebrating her 68th birthday -decided to go back to being a red head.

I know age is just a number.  I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard to be young or trying to hard to be someone I’m not.

My husband says “be yourself – don’t let anyone tell you what to do”.   Age is just a number.  It’s a mindset.  It’s about how you feel.

49.  It feels like I was just in school.  It feels like not long ago we thought 49 was ancient.  I don’t feel ancient.  In many ways I feel like I’m really just discovering who I’m supposed to be.

Each day feels more special.  I’m so much more aware at 49 that life is short and it goes way too fast.  Each day that passes is a reminder that we have to make the most of it because our days are all numbered.  Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.

I look back and realize how much time I wasted waiting for something.  Waiting til I was out of school.  Waiting to be an adult.  Waiting to be married.  Waiting for the weekend.  Waiting.

If we spend our time waiting, we are missing out.  We aren’t living in the moment.  I’ve started trying hard to practice living in the moment.

I feel more than ever I’m embracing each day as the gift it is.  I want to do everything.   I want to try new things.   I want everyone around me to know they matter.

I get really excited about birthdays, if you haven’t noticed. (smile).   Better than New Years.

It’s a new start.  It’s reflection.  It’s taking inventory on your life.  Being aware of who you are and what matters.

More and more it’s about simple things.  Less drama.  More love.  Celebrating the everyday.

I’m excited for what’s to come this year.  To finish off my 40’s.   Maybe with a lovely shade of red to cover my greys. (smile)

Like the “old” me had on the left (smile)

Categorised in: Afternoons

This post was written by Carrie Buchanan