The View From Here – It’s Been A Year

It was a year ago today that a worldwide pandemic was declared.  You will notice flags flying at half mast.  It’s to remember those lives lost to the virus.  My heart goes out to those forever left to miss family and friends and feeling that pain. I’m so sorry for your loss.  There is no greater sadness than losing someone you love.

How has life changed for you since then?  We sure didn’t see any of this coming then, did we?

This time last year we were still living a normal life.  We were untouched.  We were aware of it around us.  We just hadn’t been impacted.  Yet.

One year.   Hard to believe.  Somedays it feels like it just happened.  On other days it feels like time has stood still.

I’ve been sitting here, in my home office/ studio, and trying to come up with an answer myself, to how things have changed.  At least in my life.  How has this pandemic changed ME?

I am still working from home and have been since the beginning of April.  I look back on Facebook posts.  A cat who wouldn’t leave me alone at first.  Kids home.  We went back to comfort food and simple things like sidewalk chalk, bike rides and long walks.   I have a picture in my living room, doing my morning workout, with Doug Ford on the TV in the background announcing a state of emergency for the province of Ontario.   

Back then we had no idea what would come our way.  Businesses closing their doors.  All those events we love, cancelled, postponed.  No more theatre or concerts or movies.  Cities shut down.  Streets empty.

We went back to basics.  We baked bread and begged for toilet paper.  We cut our own hair.   We cleaned and organized.  We banded together.   We lifted up the essential workers and realized just how much we need people.  We sanitized, and kept our distance.  Always hoping it would be over soon.

It’s now a year and we’re still hoping it’s going to be over soon.  Still waiting for the finish line.  Still waiting for a return to “normal” whatever that might look like.

I’ve realized that I’m not a social person.  I don’t miss going “out” to events.

I don’t miss rushing around, or meeting obligations on a social calendar.  I do miss people.  I miss my family and friends.  I even miss my co-workers.

I’ve realized that even with extra time on my hands I still can’t finish a book.   I’ve realized that I don’t need STUFF.  I’ve done a lot of purging and getting rid of clutter.

I’ve realized that despite my best efforts, I’m not that great at keeping a house clean.  Maybe it’s just because nobody ever leaves to get it clean.  (smile)

I’ve realized a lot of “friends” I had on social media weren’t really friends.  That one was hard to accept.  All these people we “friend” and think we’re doing life together, but when they stop showing up, it’s hard. I also realized I spent way too much time scrolling online and soon put an end to that too.  All that negativity takes its toll after a while.

I have watched way too much TV.  I was using it as an escape and calling cast members family.  I had to set limits or I would never leave the couch.

I never dealt with anxiety before like I have this past year.  There have been so many ups and downs, highs and lows.  Nights where I would wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, worried about where I had been, worried about symptoms that didn’t exist, worried about people around me.   This invisible virus was very real sometimes even if only in my own thoughts.

It’s been so great to be able to work from home, but at the same time, it really does change you.  You lose conversation.  You lose structure and purpose.  You have to fight to stay in routine and try to stay connected to the outside world.   So often it feels so very lonely and isolating.   Like the world is going on around you, but without you in it, and nobody knows you’re not there.

I appreciate the little things so much more.  Time spent around the dinner table.  A phone call.  A smile.

I’ve loved being home with my kids and having a relaxed start to every day.  No rush to get out the door.  No travel time to get to work.  But at the same time I miss having somewhere to GO.

My commute is up the stairs to my scrapbook room.  There is no real break from home to work.

I don’t think anybody expected we’d still be in the thick of it so to speak a year later.  It’s been incredible hard on everyone and one of the hardest things about it, is that nobody experiences it the same way.

We’ve been through a lot this past year.  It’s been incredibly challenging.  We’ve had to constantly adapt to changing circumstances.  Masks, sanitizer, and circles on the floor are now part of everyday life.

I cannot wait til we get to the point that we don’t need to follow the arrows, and hide our faces behind a piece of cloth however cool it might be.  I can’t wait til we can go somewhere without having that voice in the back of our heads worrying about a virus, our health, those around us we might infect, and just being able to breath comfortably again.

I don’t think things will ever be the same.

I’d like to think I’ll embrace the slower pace of life.  Make those closest to me a priority in my life and make the rest of my life more about people and experiences rather than “stuff”.

And if I never have to wear a mask again I will be happy.  Though, to be honest, sometimes you want to just run into the store and not have anybody see you or recognize you when your hair isn’t done and your clothes are the same you’ve been wearing for three days.  (smile).   And a mask is a great disguise sometimes.  (smile)

Here’s to all that we have taken out of the past year that has been good for us.  That has helped us learn and grow.

And here’s to finally having a day we can look back on this as just a memory.

As always – please feel free to reach out to me anytime.  I’m always ready for a good chat!

cbuchanan@blackburnradio.com

Categorised in: Afternoons

This post was written by Carrie Buchanan