The View From Here – The Struggle Is Real

Anybody else feel like they are struggling right now?  DESPITE the world going back to normal?  Stores open.  Indoor dining.  Hair cuts.  Fitness classes.

We can do “all the things”.  We should be doing alright.  Right?

So why this feeling of not really feeling OKAY?  I don’t mind sharing with you that I have been having some issues lately.  With getting older.  Feeling older.  Feeling BLAH.

I’ve escaped in Netflix too many times.  Eaten peanut butter out of the jar too much.  And have been really trying to feel okay with me.

I’ve deleted most of my social media and limited my circle of friends.  I consider Genoa City my second home from watching too much Y&R, and that should probably worry more than it does (smile).

I need to shake things up!  I need to get back to feeling like myself.  So, tomorrow I am taking a vacation day and starting it off with changing up the “do”.

New hair fixes everything.  Or so I tell myself.

Anybody else put a whole lot of pressure on a new thing?  Like a new hair cut or colour?  Because I DO!  In my mind, new colour or a new style brings me back to life.  It rejuvenates.  It invigorates.

I tend to be very spontaneous with my hair cuts.  I will wake up on a Saturday morning and decide “today I’m getting a cut”.    Which doesn’t always work in my favour.  There has been some regrets over the years. (smile).

This time, in the midst of a pandemic and lockdowns – it’s been a hole lot harder to be spontaneous.   I’ve had to live with this mess like everyone else has had to do.   Last year I let the grey take over until looking through pictures had me feeling nostalgic for my younger days when I coloured my hair – and often.

I love that we can change how we feel about ourselves with a haircut.

Sitting in that chair, full of hope.  I put a lot on a hair cut.  Lots of pressure.  I plead with the hair dresser to “fix me”.   A lot of pressure on a hair cut.

Am I alone in that?

Inches cut off feels like a weight lifting in other ways.

In my mind a hair cut will change me.  It will take away all the negative thoughts I’ve been thinking about myself.  It will change ME.  It’s like a re-start.  I always secretly hope I will someone LOOK different too.  You know the Jennifer Aniston cut?  I wanted that.  But I also hoped I would look more like HER and less like myself.

My apologies to hair dressers everywhere whose chair I have sat in with big eyes full of hope and anticipation.

“Please change me, change my life.”

Just have to get through that awkward and ugly phase first, of sitting uncomfortably in that chair, staring at your own reflection in the mirror, hair dripping down, feeling so ugly.  Feels like punishment of sorts.  (smile)

Anybody else feel the same?  Like you just need some big change in your life?  Maybe to shake off the last year and a half.  Maybe to shake off the last 49 years.  (smile).   I’m not sure why the approaching 50 mark is so challenging.   Any advice is always appreciated.  Seriously.  How do you handle getting older?

I’m excited about a new cut and a new attitude.  And if I look more like Julia Roberts or Jennifer Aniston when I’m done – who would complain? (smile)  #wishfulthinking

I’ll share more when I get back from stay-cation on Monday.   Unless it goes horribly wrong.  Then I will send you my forwarding address as I disappear.  Ha.

Let’s stay in touch!  Email me anytime!

cbuchanan@blackburnradio.com

Categorised in: Afternoons

This post was written by Carrie Buchanan