The View From Here – Parenting Is Hard
September 8, 2021 3:41 pmParents. I NEED you.
Because back to school is hard enough. I thought there were tears for the first day of school for my kids. Sending them to college, even if it’s in your own backyard, is harder.
Maybe it’s because of all that we’ve been through, and all the extra measures in place, the fact there was no IN PERSON ORIENTATION to help our kids adjust. Maybe it’s because there’s been no in school learning for my daughter the past year and a half. Maybe it’s the feeling of being alone, uncertain, and afraid.
Maybe it’s a combination of all of it.
I dropped my daughter off for her first day of IN PERSON learning at Lambton College today, and to be honest, I don’t know who was feeling more unsure. Me. Or her. Pretty sure it was me.
Pretty sure it was my own anxiety and insecurities coming to the surface.
Even though it’s been (cough) decades since I’ve been in school or had to find my way to a classroom in a new school – I felt it. I felt the fear and it was real. And I saw it on her face. I saw her fear and nervousness. And it came out as “I don’t need college. I’m not a college student. I don’t even want to do this. I don’t want to be here”.
Been there. Done that.
I thought back to my first day at Lambton College. I was 17. Just out of high school. Never left home. Never did anything on my own before that. It was beyond scary and I know I got lost. More than once.
It’s so hard to tell your kids that they will get through the hard and might even enjoy the journey. It’s hard to not be able to fix things. We want to protect our kids from the hurts, the disappointments and challenges. We want to do the hard for them. But we can’t. And we shouldn’t. Because that’s how they learn and how they grow.
I know as that 17 year old I probably got the same pep talk from my parents and I probably thought they were crazy and they didn’t understand. They just “don’t get it.” But now that I’m a parent, I realize they probably did.
And after getting through that first day, my daughter came back smiling, feeling much better about it. Yep. She got lost. But she also made it to class ON TIME with the help of another teacher. And it worked out. Despite her biggest fears. And mine.
Parenting never gets easier. We just keep adapting and trying to do the best for our kids, as hard as that might be to let them go. Whether it’s the first day of kindergarten or daycare and handing them over to someone else to be that person you have always been or the first day of college or university or sending them off on their own. It does not get easier. Not one bit.
Any other parents out there get me? Feeling their own fears and anxiety coming out through their kids?
Let’s keep the conversation going.
Reach out anytime.
Categorised in: Afternoons
This post was written by Carrie Buchanan