The View From Here – Can’t Fight The Process

You can blame/ thank Karen on Instagram who shared her story of going grey for today’s post.  It’s something I did once before before changing my mind, and now back on the journey again with all the frustrations that might come with it.  Letting the grey take over is NOT easy.  There are lots of emotions involved.  It’s a test in patience for sure.

I am trying to embrace the grey again.  Round 2.  I tried before.  I started growing it out just before the pandemic hit and as hard as it is to let it grow out naturally, I loved it.  I was determined to embrace it.  I loved the freedom of not having to keep up with roots, and touch ups and re-colouring, and matching the boxed colours.  The damage to my hair.  The expense.

I was glad to have all that behind me, but at some point of working from home and the isolation of the pandemic, spending too much time looking at old pictures of my younger self, I wanted to change myself.

My kids were colouring their hair a lot and I just wanted something different too.  I wanted to feel younger.  I wanted to feel like my old self again.  So, as my 49th birthday approached I grabbed a box of colour and undid all that work growing out the grey.  “Embracing the grey” was a distant memory.

I loved the new splash of colour again, but it didn’t help me feel any different.  I wasn’t LOOKING any younger.  Maybe it was the living isolated and feeling disconnected from the world in a pandemic but I somehow thought that changing my hair colour might lead to some kind of magical transformation.  I put a lot of hope in my hair sometimes.  I realized that what I was feeling and looking for wasn’t found inside any box of colour.

Now I was stuck colouring my hair again, covering up roots.   The signs of aging which were getting harder and harder to cover up or ignore.  As I turned fifty late last year, I realized something was happening bigger than any hair colour could fix.  Fifty is weird.  Getting older is strange, isn’t it?  We feel young.  But our bodies tell us different.   50, so far has been the most challenging and unexpected.

I’m working to embrace a changing body, expanding waistline, grey hair and wrinkles.   Healing old wounds from the past, and trying harder to love myself as I am.  Eliminating negativity.  Embracing positivity.   Not always easy, but I’m sure it will be worth it.

What have you struggled with the most when it comes to getting older?  What changes have been the most challenging?  What do you LOVE the most about getting older?

I know getting older is a gift and I appreciate every day I get on this earth.  I just wish sometimes we came with a manual to help us navigate the rough terrain sometimes (smile)

I would love to talk more about it!  Email me anytime cbuchanan@blackburnmedia.ca

Categorised in: Afternoons

This post was written by Carrie Buchanan