The View From Here – It’s Hard Not To Feel Something

Yesterdays news of the death of Stephen “tWitch” Boss has hit a lot of us really hard.  Stephen worked on the Ellen DeGeneres show.  He was the shows DJ.  He would play the music that got people up and dancing.  It would bring smiles and laughter and joy to everyone in the audience and those watching.  That’s how I remember him.  His smile would light up the room.  You could feel the positive vibes from your living room couch.

A lot of people said they watched him and his wife on TikTok and social media.  His dancing and pure love of life got them through the pandemic.

The shock of his death is very real.  Comments like “but he was so happy” and “he was always smiling” or “he had money and fame, why would he do that?”

Heartbreaking.  Devastating.  Unreal.  Tragic.  Senseless.   I can’t begin to imagine what his wife and kids are feeling right now.  So much pain and so many unanswered questions.

What happened to him?  What was he dealing with?  What was he feeling?  What was happening in his life that led him to such a tragic end?  So many questions.

It serves to remind us that nobody is immune from depression.  That we never ever truly know what someone is dealing with on the inside.  We never know the pain or sadness that someone is feeling.   The hurt that they are hiding.  It’s so easy sometimes to put on a happy face and pretend you’re okay when you’re not.  It’s easy to say “fine” when someone asks how you are even when you’re not.   Especially in a role like he had where he was a performer and on display.

It’s a reminder that everyone you meet is facing a battle you know nothing about.

Each and everyone of us has something that we have gone through that has broken us.

Be kind.

Reach out to those in your life.  If someone is on your mind today, reach out.  Call, text, email.  Reach out.  Check on your friends and family.  Especially the strong ones who always seem to be okay.  Always laughing, smiling.   Check on them.  Those who are hurting will not always reach out.

If you are struggling know that there is help available.

I saw this post on Facebook today and thought I would share it with you.  It’s from Gillie Anne.

“Friends. I’m seeing many posts with folks shocked about the loss of Twitch today. I know that there are inevitably some of you who are considering the same course of action – OR concerned about someone you love doing the same. To those folks in particular- please read on.

As some of you may know, I am a mental health professional who specifically supports those in crisis. I thought I would share a few points that we need to consider when talking about mental health struggles and seeking help.

1) We cannot put the onus of seeking help entirely on the one who is struggling. Have a gut feeling that someone isn’t doing ok? ASK. ASK AGAIN. Don’t be afraid to ask specifically about suicide. If you’re unsure of what to say, call the crisis line yourself. EVEN if you don’t think they’re currently suicidal.
We are here to support friends and families as well as those in emotional pain.
Seek out ASIST training or mental health first aid to be better equipped.

2) The crisis line is NOT JUST FOR SUICIDE RISK. Call at anytime – day or night- if you feel that you need a fresh point of view on an issue, need a general mental health question answered, need coping mechanisms, need to vent about something or just had a really hard day. There will be a crisis line available for every area in Canada. A quick google search will show you. (I.E “ Toronto Crisis Line”)

3) Do you, or someone you love, have a current plan and intend to end your own life? Can’t commit to keeping yourself safe? This is an emergency. Call 911 or attend your nearest emergency department. Not sure? Call a crisis line first.

4) Each province in Canada has a version of the Mental Health Act. This dictates a number of things – including a health professional’s/first responder’s permitted course of actions possibly against your will. There is help for concerned family within the mental health act as well.

5) We all have mental health, not all of us have mental illness. It is possible what a person is experiencing is situational. This is still a valid reason to seek support.

6) Finally, BE KIND. You never know what someone is battling inside. Fight stigma whenever you witness it – seeking help is not weakness. It’s not funny to call people crazy, schizo etc. Confront stigma where and when you see it.

Please feel free to reach out over DM if you have any questions or would like to be pointed in the right direction for support. You can also call 211 or go to talksuicide.ca
Peace, love and light to all of you! ❤️✌️ The world can be a tough place sometimes- but I promise you’re tougher. Xo

I never knew Stephen but his light, his positive energy, his passion – I felt it.  His dancing made me smile.

You have no idea the difference YOU make in someone else’s life.  You might be the one to bring joy to someone without even knowing it.  YOU make a difference in this world whether you know it or not.

I’m heartbroken to hear of this loss and heartbroken that tWitch must have been in so much pain that we never saw.  This one hurts.

Categorised in: Afternoons

This post was written by Carrie Buchanan